Crawl into my bed . . .

So the title alone should grab your attention today. I'm going to vent/expound on one of my greatest pet peeves today. Hopefully it will keep you, the reader, from asking me my most dreaded question.

A well meaning friend asked me recently if we had considered having another child. Now, when you have one child, aged nearly 4, most people assume that you should quickly have another. SIDE NOTE: Brian and I are pretty indifferent about having another child. There are pros and cons to both making a choice to bring another child into the world and to remaining with our current status of an only child. It's pretty amusing really that I am so indifferent (perhaps this isn't the best choice of words . . . we would be thankful if we had another child, we would be thankful if we did not) considering that I once longed for three children (you can keep that stuff - now watch me get pregnant with twins someday). And by the time that Brian and I married, I just assumed we would have at least two. After all, we both came from two child families and both of us are youngest children. However, after having Anna we've fallen into a pattern of life that is now pretty easy. There are no diapers to change, there are no midnight feedings, Anna plays on her own, and aside from giving herself a haircut this week doesn't do too much crazy dangerous you must watch her every minute stuff. The further away from the baby stage that we get, the less I long to have another baby. As well, considering Anna's size and all of the C-section challenges, I must be honest that there are physical factors that deter/distract me from getting preggers. That's not to say that that might change someday but at this hour, at this minute that's where I'm at.

Ok, so I've digressed quite a bit just to set up where I'm coming from. I think that asking if you plan on having more children is quite possibly one of the most intimate, intrusive, and out of line questions one could ask. I've noticed it more and more in the recent past. In all reality, it's asking what is your sex life like? Can I crawl in bed with you? Are you ovulating right now? How are Brian's sperm counts? Are you going to attempt conception right now, right here? Come on, so that you can have another child get it on right in front of our very eyes? Now granted, people don't intend this line of thought but in all reality it's what that question boils down to. Brian and I last night brainstormed a list of totally inappropriate, make people blush responses about specific areas of our sex life so that they would never EVER ask again and so that they would tell everyone they knew not to ask as well. However, this is just as cruel and inappropriate so I'll abstain (from replying, not from sex just to keep things clear here).

I always think, you know, Brian and I are pretty private people. What if we were trying to get pregnant (we're not, FYI) and had not been successful or worse yet had had a miscarriage. A question like that would drive me over the edge, I am quite certain. I honestly think that most people don't even think about what they're saying when they ask such a loaded question. I have often fantasized about running away in tears when someone opens the subject just to "punish" them. I know, I know - I'm sick.

So at least now you know, unless I have opened such a conversation up with you, don't ask. If we were thinking about having another child, pregnant, or trying, you would know. We would tell you. I would blog about it. Until then, please get out of my bed.